Assassination Squad to Defender of Hogwarts
by iNikkix3
Summary: Add the TYL Varia to Hogwarts. Also, the fact that they are going to attempt to defend the castle... with Adult Mammon. Mix it all up and the end result? Total insanity. MamBel26 XS. T for pervertedness.


_**Diclaimer: iNikkix3 does not own Hogwarts or KHR.**_

_**She also wishes to give her sincerest apologies to the poor people who have been waiting for her to get off her lazy ass and start working on her other projects. There was just no inspiration, so SORRY :( **_

_**Besides, this lazy pig only started writing because this idea has been hammering my mind since December :)**_

_**This may or may not be continued, due to iNikkix3 starting school and all. But please enjoy!**_

_**Assassination Squad to Defender of Hogwarts Chapter 1: Insanity arrives**_

The castle stood in its full glory the night the Varia came. The full moon rested just behind the towers, shining gracefully over the high turrets, providing just enough light to give Hogwarts a magical glow. The castle windows were bright, welcoming in the students warmly. Laughter and smiles were all around as students greeted each another cheerfully.

However, not all heading towards the castle were that happy…

"The castle isn't fit for a prince. The prince doesn't want to stay in such a shabby place." A big scowl was on the Varia Storm Guardian's face as he slumped down in the carriage leading towards Hogwarts.

"I never knew the psychotic fake prince senpai could scowl," The Varia Mist Guardian commented easily, poking his head out of the carriage window to look at the starry night sky.

Without anyone noticing, a shiny knife landed on Fran's back. Belphegor slumped further in his seat, not appearing to have moved.

"Vroi! You aren't allowed to throw knives in this school!" Squalo screamed loudly, causing several students in the carriage behind them to jump violently.

"Trash," Xanxus muttered, glaring at his subordinates.

"Ushishishi. The prince doesn't follow ANY rule," The tiara-wearing prince smirked proudly.

"Good point," Fran remarked dryly.

"Boss! Do you want some wine? Anything? Meat? Steak?" Levi cried pathetically, staring hopefully at Xanxus.

"Mou~ Luss-nee wants to fight… Not defend this uncute castle!" The Sun Guardian exclaimed, pointing at the disregarded castle with his pinky up. "Why are we even here?"

Fran pulled his head back into the carriage and began to explain helpfully, "The old headmaster wanted help to defend his ugly castle. The Ninth decided to send us since the others are busy and we're so free. The end."

"Ushishishi. What's with that explanation, Froggy?" Bel threw another knife at Fran.

The teal-haired illusionist sighed and started another explanation. "It was a bright and sunny day. I was running away from an insane prince when-"

"Vroi! What's that got to do with us coming here?" Squalo yelled again, only to be silenced by a gun pointed to his head.

"Che. I was trying to get to that part." Fran replied in a monotone. "We got a letter from the Ninth with the cool flame that made us come here to protect this castle-"

"Ushishishi. Magical castle~" Bel interrupted rudely, sitting up to throw knives at Fran with more ease.

"Stupid senpai." Fran insulted, earning himself more knives. To the head. "Where are the other schools? I thought we were supposed to protect people who are coming to this castle for some competition."

"Trash-"

"Boss, would you like more wine? Bos-" Levi was cut off with a punch to his stomach.

"You cut me off, trash." Xanxus glowered, forcing Levi to back away.

"Ushishi," Bel spotted an opportunity and tossed a knife at Levi, causing him to fall out of the carriage window.

"Oh. Nice one, senpai!" Fran smirked slightly, giving a thumb up.

"Ushishishi."

"Trash." Xanxus repeated irritably. "Shut up."

Squalo ignored his boss's kind warning and started yelling loudly, "Vroii! When we are at the castle, NO KILLING! We will have our own rooms, so you'll have no reason to kill! Vroi! Listen to me!"

Bel was using Fran as a dart board, Xanxus was sleeping and Lussuria was trying to add tiny flowers to his metal knee cap. And Levi… He was somewhere dead.

"You hear me? Protect only! Bear with it for this year!" Squalo screamed even louder.

Fran had already gotten out his earplugs and was whistling slightly while Bel continued to practice throwing his sharp knives. According to Fran, stupid people couldn't become deaf. Lussuria pressed his hands against his ears, pouting slightly.

"Trash," Xanxus opened his eyes, a big danger sign.

"VROI-"

Bang!

Squalo fell to the ground, head bleeding. Guess who shot him?

"Ushishishi." Bel laughed crazily. "The stupid long-haired commander got what he deserved."

"I wonder when Bel-senpai will get his." Fran pulled out his earplugs casually, flinging them at Squalo.

Before a frog corpse fell on the shark one, Lussuria squealed that they had reached the castle.

Bel's eye twitched furiously. He had a bad feeling that he would be the one to lug his commander's corpse into the castle since the ugly… What was that disgusting dude's name? …thing… was kicked out of the carriage.

"Carry it, trash." Xanxus stood up, ordering the Storm Guardian lazily.

"No way!" Bel scowled unhappily, kicking Squalo to Lussuria.

"Yada! That thing will ruin my style!" Lussuria responded by kicking Squalo to Fran.

"Senpai… It's not good to push your job to others…" Fran kicked the shark to Bel.

Belphegor stared down at the bloody corpse with footprints on the face. More of Squalo's precious hair fell out. Bel really didn't want to touch that ugly almost bald thing. It was an un-princely thing to do. Just then, a princely idea dashed into his royal head.

Quickly, he lighted his ring and opened his box weapon.

"Mink, go carry that thing."

Visone Tempesta looked at him haughtily, and then lay on his neck lazily. "Ushishi."

"Even your box animal doesn't listen to you. Bel-senpai, you're a big failure." Fran insulted him, sauntering out of the carriage.

"Mou~ Wait for me!" Lussuria dashed out before Bel had a chance to force the gay Sun Guardian to do anything.

Anger marks appeared on Bel's face as he picked up Squalo roughly, dragging him along.

Someone might find a frog shaped cactus on the school grounds the next morning.

- M B 26 -

Harry Potter sat at his house table, chatting with his friends about the Quidditch World Cup. He felt so glad to be back at his real home, Hogwarts, that nothing could ruin his mood at that moment.

Too bad that the people who do the impossible on a daily basis had arrived at Harry's originally peaceful magical home.

Looking up to check if the tiny eleven year olds have arrived already, Hermione quickly noticed a purple-haired female sit at the end of the table, right beside the auror, Mad-eye Moody.

The presence of the presumed-to-be-crazy auror had been already discussed by the golden trio. There was only one reason, he was the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. So, who was that female?

Even more suspiciously, that person was wearing a long cap that covered her eyes to prevent identification. Hermione examined the purple triangle tattoos on her face. She couldn't recognize it from any book!

"I wish they would hurry up with the Sorting already!" Ron moaned, rubbing his stomach rudely.

The smart female quickly pushed aside suspicions of the purple-haired lady to chastise her good friend for being rude. After all, if she was let into Hogwarts, Dumbledore must have known her from somewhere and she should be trusted…

"Hey, Harry! I heard rumors that a strange group arrived via the Hogwarts Express!" Neville told the golden boy secretively, as if telling a trade secret.

Harry Potter immediately frowned, what if that group were actually Death Eaters in disguise?

Neville muttered quickly, "And when Seamus wanted to sit in their compartment, he said that the scary one took out some instrument and threatened to shoot him!"

Before Harry could reply, Nearly Headless Nick patted his shoulder, or tried to anyway. The ghost hand sank right through Harry's shoulder and made him jump.

"Pay attention to the Sorting!"

Without his knowledge, the Sorting had started. Harry straightened up as a tiny person stumbled over to his table. He clapped hastily, trying to pretend as if he had been paying attention since the Sorting started, all thoughts of the strange group vanished from his head.

"I'm still hungry…" Ron grumbled softly.

- M B 26 -

The genius prince watched as the last of the tiny toddlers tripped their way out of the waiting hall, catching only a glimpse of the starry ceiling.

Of course, he wasn't surprised. Being as smart as he was, Bel had already read all the available books on Wizardry provided by the Ninth. He was the only one who was diligent- or bored- enough to read everything, so the others received an understandable shock.

"Look at the candles floating in midair!~" Lussuria immediately squealed excitedly. "How cute! Mou~ I want one of those!"

Bel didn't bother responding to the gay lord, choosing to kick his dead commander in the face. Squalo always did manage to revive in the end, although looking at the puddle of blood on the floor, Bel wasn't all that certain anymore. Not that he minded actually.

Loud sounds of applause rang from behind the large doors. Bel frowned slightly. He was royalty and royalty shouldn't be kept waiting!

"Bel-senpai…" His frog was calling. "Should we bust in?"

"Ushishishi," Bel smiled widely, calculating every single possible way of busting in and their pros and cons, -cough- 6919 ways -cough-.

Examining all his princely ways, Bel rethought the one where he had to snatch his boss's guns (their owner was currently dozing off in an illusionary chair) and shoot them at the doors.

…

Won't he die first?

…

Can he even operate the guns?

…

Bel quickly crossed that option off the list, so that 6918 remained. The one where he used Squalo to open the door was one of the top, although he had to risk dirtying his princely hands to touch the disgusting corpse again. Nothing beats the dramatic effect of using a dead body to slam open the door!

"Bel-senpai, I think they're going to eat now." Fran informed the prince in a monotone, listening to the cheering of one redhead in particular with his illusionary sensitive ears.

"Mou~ Aren't they offering us a place to eat?" Lussuria complained in a girly way, pouting sadly.

"That's it, Froggy. We're busting in!" Bel, being the smart prince, made the decision before hastily looking at his boss.

After his active imagination where he was killed because he stole his boss's guns, he felt rather jumpy at the sight of Xanxus. Not that he would admit it. Princes were above admitting things.

"Trash, they better have wine." Xanxus scowled, standing up lazily.

Which was a big action for their boss. He must be really hungry.

"Ushishishi." Belphegor laughed excitedly, hoping to kill some students.

"Che. So I have to make the flashy entrance?" Fran clicked his tongue. "It's always me…"

"Who's going to carry that thing?" Bel asked quickly, not wanted to dirty his precious hands.

Everyone stared at him, as if the answer was obvious.

"The Prince doesn't do such things. It is below the Prince to carry such a repulsive thing."

Lussuria added pity into his gaze.

"The Prince still doesn't want to do it!"

Xanxus reached for his gun.

"The Prince will do it!" Bel cut in nervously, eyeing the special guns. "He is so magnanimous after all.

"Ah. Bel-senpai starts to get what he deserves after all. The world is fair." Fran announced, slightly smirking, as he lit his Hell ring.

Triple stab.

"Itai, fake-prince-senpai." Fran moaned in a monotone.

"Ushishishi." Bel laughed as the door to the hall opened.

- M B 26 -

Mammon looked at her golden plate, wondering how much one of those would cost. Although she was already making a lot of money just to defend this magical school from attackers who would most likely not appear at all.

The money was only one part of the reason why she came. Another part was that she would get to learn magic, so as to ensure that her loss to that pineapple-headed illusionist would not happen again.

However, her loss only happened because she was trapped in that tiny body, unable to bring out her powers to the maximum. Now that Verde had found a way to break the curse, she would never lose again.

One small reason she came was also because she would get to meet Belphegor and the other Varia members again. Mammon still felt a tiny bit of affection for them, although that feeling was deeply buried. She did spend years with them, leeching off so much money…

"Muu…" Mammon whispered softly, playing with her enlarged Varia robe.

She recently learnt that the Varia had gotten a new illusionist, but she still enjoyed wearing the Varia uniform. Lingering useless emotions, perhaps?

Mammon tried to suppress those worthless feelings. Money was only worth her time. The rest was insignificant…

Just then she felt an illusion being made just outside the hall, she looked up quickly. Was it the new Varia illusionist? Maybe she could charge the Ninth more to check if her successor was worthy…

"Ushishishi." That familiar laugh…

Mammon felt a twinge in her heart at that sound but she quickly pressed it down. Anyway, the illusion that came with that laugh made that feeling easy to suppress.

A gigantic clam appeared in the doorway, causing frightened screams from the students.

The Mist Arcobaleno sighed. She really didn't want to have to work too much. Raising her hand, she quickly deactivated the clam with ease. She marveled at how easy everything was in her adult body.

"Why was there a clam, Froggy?" That voice again…

"Itai, fake-genius-senpai." That should be the new illusionist?

Mammon stood up from the table, "Yare yare. I should really claim more money from the Ninth."

The frozen heads of the students quickly swiveled over to her. Mammon frowned uncomfortably. She never did like attention… Her love for money made her react like that again.

There was an audible gasp from the direction of the Varia. Mammon closed her not visible eyes. She had a feeling who that was…

"Mammon!" In an instant, Belphegor leapt over to the staff table and cuddling the said person.

"Bel." The illusionist stiffened immediately, trying to calm the sudden leap of her heart.

"Ushishishi. You grew. You aren't the cute little flying kid anymore." Bel looked at her face carefully before hugging her again.

"Kid?" "Flying?" Murmurs flew through the hall, as the students finally noticed Squalo's dead body. "Bloody hell! What's that thing?"

"You're the Mist Arcobaleno?" Fran asked, interest in his voice. "Master beat you though."

"Yare yare. You're Rokudo Mukuro's apprentice?" Mammon pushed Belphegor off slightly, tilting her head towards Fran curiously. "I'll fight him again if you pay me."

Before Mammon could hear the answer from the frog- he did look incredibly like one, with his green hair accentuated by the frog hat she suspected had something to do with Bel- and earn more money, her ex-boss lifted his guns.

"Trash. There better be wine here." Xanxus growled softly, kicking Squalo in the head.

"Boss…" Mammon greeted emotionlessly.

That word slipped out somehow, due to the sudden familiarity of the Varia. She snuck a quick peek at the students of Hogwarts. She could practically see the question marks hanging in the air.

"Mammon," Xanxus barely nodded, his guns still pointed at Dumbledore.

"Muu. Bel, get off me." The purple-haired illusionist suddenly realized her previous partner-in-crime was still gripping her tightly.

"Ah…" The headmaster of Hogwarts, Albus Dumbledore, suddenly spoke up with a twinkle in his eye. "I was about to invite our guests in, but I suppose they may have gotten a little hasty…"

"Ushishishi, no." Bel whispered in Mammon's ear.

"Muu…" She almost shivered, but she denied that Bel's actions could make her do that instantly. "Bel, get off."

"These guests are the Varia. They are here for protection of the castle… due to a special event I would explain after dinner, since I believe many of you are hungry. So I invite both you and our guests to tuck in!" With those words, Dumbledore waved his wand.

The table extended a few places. There was one extra… For Levi, Mammon suddenly realized. Knowing Bel, Levi must be somewhere dead.

"If I am supposed to fetch Levi's corpse, I better be paid more. At least twice the starting pay…" Mammon calculated under her breath, predicting a large sum of money by the end of the month.

"Mammon…" Hot breath blew past her ear, making her realize the blond prince was still embracing her.

"Get off, Bel." Her voice trembled slightly, undetectable by anyone.

Moving her finger slightly, she caused Bel to fly across the hall and land on Squalo. The students, who had just begun eating, stopped to stare again.

"Ushishishi. Impatient, aren't you, Mammon?" Bel picked himself up, grinning widely.

"Don't test me, Bel." She replied emotionlessly, sitting back down as if she wasn't affected by the incident at all.

Although her heart was thumping furiously, Mammon maintained a composed façade even when the Varia finally sat at the magical dinner table, Bel lugging Squalo and after dumping him, sitting right next to her. In her head, Mammon counted the stacks of money she would soon receive with precision to calm down.

Her purpose here was to guard Hogwarts from any dangerous people during the Triwizard Tournament, that was all. Nothing more than that… Bel and the Varia were just a minor setback. Mammon wouldn't let them prevent or distract her from getting her precious cash.

- M B 26 -

Back at the Griffindor table, Hermione's mind was whirring so furiously that she was sure the people around her could hear it move.

The Varia? She had never heard of it before! That man 'Mammon' called boss held guns! They were for muggles! She never heard of wizards using them… They were also speaking in what Hermione assumed to be a mix of Japanese and Italian. Why that strange combination?

And that 'Bel'! He managed to jump across the whole hall without a wand or any visible magical item help! 'Mammon' also managed to send the first guy back across the hall without any sign of a wand… Just who on earth were those people to carry along a corpse without Dumbledore reacting?

With such a huge summoning of a clam at first too! By that green-haired guy wearing a frog hat, Hermione assumed on the spot. And that challenging conversation between 'Mammon' and the other guy…

And there was an empty chair. For who?

Hermione tried to recall every single word they had said. Dumbledore had spoken of some special event. What kind of special event?

She stared at the teachers' table, eyeing every detail of their outfits. They all appeared to be wearing a uniform, even the dead body. So that meant the 'Varia' killed their own comrade?

Hermione shivered. Wouldn't that make them as bad as Death Eaters?

"Hey, aren't the guys a little hot? Despite their weird entrance…" Lavender giggled, whispering to Parvati loudly.

"Yeah, and that affectionate blond guy…" Parvati swooned dramatically.

"Nah, I'd prefer the fierce guy with the guns."

Hermione could practically see the heart shapes and the sparkly aura surrounding them. And now that she thought about it, most of the girls in the hall were doing the same thing.

The Varia could almost be Death Eaters, except without the wands, and the girls around her didn't care? Hermione fidgeted anxiously, something unlike her. She'd not let down her guard until Dumbledore explained.

- M B 26 -

Belphegor couldn't calm the happy skips of his heart. He was sitting next to Mammon! The one person who had died in the future! At least that was what his memories he suddenly got one day told him.

And she wasn't in her child form anymore… Bel ignored the frog sitting on his left side, paying all his attention to the purple-haired illusionist instead. He longed to hug her again, but assumed it was because of the long duration they didn't see each other.

He watched as Mammon finished her meal and took out a wad of money to count.

"Ushishishi. You're still as the prince remembers." Bel told her happily, fingering one of his strangely-shaped knives unconsciously.

"Stupid-senpai, would you stop stalking people with your eyes?" Fran commented, avoiding saying Mammon's name.

Out of habit, Bel whipped out a knife and shot it at Fran.

"Itai…" Fran also responded naturally. "Violence can't stop this Fran from saying the truth, idiotic-senpai."

"Ushishi, unless you're dead." Bel tossed another knife before returning to look at Mammon.

"Muu… So he uses illusions to cover up flesh wounds…" Mammon murmured under her breath, still counting money. "102, 103…"

Squalo suddenly shot up, revived by Lussuria since a dead body sitting beside you wouldn't be very appetizing. "VROII! THAT #%!#$^!#%&%&$$%%#% OF XANXUS! HE #%!#$^##! SHOT ME AGAIN! WAIT UNTIL I GET HOLD OF ^%! HIM! I WILL *$%!#^$#&%&#$%!$!#$!%-"

"Yare yare, it seems like Squalo woke up." Mammon sighed, keeping her money in case Xanxus wanted something to throw at Squalo.

"Stupid long-haired commander, would you keep quiet?" Fran suggested in a monotone. "You're deafening the Hogwarts students."

Squalo quickly stared around him. Thousands of eyes stared back at him. The shark coughed uncomfortably before sitting down abruptly.

"Ushishishi." Bel laughed evilly. "I think I prefer the stupid long-haired commander when he was dead."

"Muu." Mammon agreed, adjusting her hat lower. "If I was the one to revive Squalo, I would have been paid more."

"Kind folks of Hogwarts," Fran began speaking with a large loudspeaker. "Please ignore this stupid commander of mine and continue with your delicious meal."

"Ushishishi. How are these brats to understand Froggy if you speak in Italian?" Bel smiled widely, holding up another knife.

Fran paused for a while, not used to Bel being correct. "Ah, right. You finally say something useful, Bel-senpai. Then, let me repeat myself. Kind folks of Hogwarts, ignore this idiotic commander of mine and continue with your absolutely delicious meal."

Bel also switched to English lazily. "Ushishishi. The stupid commander is hard to ignore though."

After all, the genius prince knew a total of 26 languages and could speak most of them fluently. He found that knowing all those languages helped him to find sushi in even the most western and asian countries.

"Vroi! What was that, Fran and Bel? I'm going to cut you into pieces!" Squalo jumped up, sword in artificial hand being waved around furiously.

"The Prince would like to see you try." Bel tilted his head smugly, lifting up twenty knives in each hand.

"Yare yare. The wizards might charge for the damages though." Mammon replied in Japanese helpfully. "The students can understand you now, Bel."

"Ushishishi. Mammon supports me in this fight right?" Bel ignored what the illusionist said, and grinned.

"If you pay me. I charge at least a thousand a minute." Mammon gave up, replying in English now.

"The Prince doesn't care. He's rich." Bel shot back, standing up excitedly.

Mammon smirked slightly, she could earn more money! Adrenaline pumped through her veins again. How long has it been since she last battled? Especially against the Varia members again…

Quickly, she took off the protection for her pacifier, letting the power wash over her again. Her form shone a faint indigo as she too stood up. She could feel the tiny hairs on her hands rise in reaction to the static in the coloured air.

"Senpai, let me get out of the dangerous range first?"

"Ushishishi no."

"How mean…"

"Time's ticking, Bel."

"Let's start then? Ushishishi."

"VROI! THAT'S NOT FAIR!"


End file.
